As the tears began to fall from my eyes this morning, as I washed away yesterday, something was different. As quickly as they formed, they disappeared. It was as if my body could no longer afford to spend any more than a split second wishing and hoping for you before it went back to its daily routine.
Life without you has proven to be rough, but I'm making it through. Going cold turkey on a love and a best friend had me going through withdrawals, but I'll be ok. In the beginning, in a feverish effort to get back what we had I thought, "I'll just wait for you." But then I realized that you may never come around, and in the chance that you eventually did, my life may have passed me by. So I will go on to find my happiness within myself and continue to live for me and if one day life brings us back together, then I know we were truly meant to be.
But I won't hold my breath, for I might die from oxygen deprivation. I won't hope, for hope requires too much of my heart, and right now its in repair. And I won't wait, because my life won't wait for me. But I will live and learn to be the source of my own happiness because in the end that's all any one of us have is ourselves.
I want you to know that I'm not bitter and no longer upset or angry with you. While my heart is still sad from your decision, I realize that you did what you had to in order to make you happy and I can only respect that. If anything, I owe you a thank you.
You've taught me a lot about myself, about life, and even more about relationships and what it really means to be with someone. You showed me that the men women dream about and talk about in love stories do exist and as much as I might of complained, you were that for me. I only hope that some woman shows you that same truth.
So goodbye. I wish you the best of luck in everything. And thank you. You've given me more than any man has yet.