Confessions Part 1

I have a confession to make.  I'm not perfect. 

          I don't always get it right.  Sometimes I lose the things I want to hold on to the most.  Once in a while, I let my hopes get too high and my imagination run a little too far. 

          I can get a little insecure, needy, and emotional at times and there are days where it seems like I can never be satisfied, with where I live, what I do, or what I have. 

          Somedays all I want to do is curl up in a ball and for once have someone take care of me.  Cater to my needs and tell me that everything I'm feeling is real but it will pass.  But until it does, I won't have to worry about a thing because they got me.

          Every now and then I get a little depressed, thinking everything that could have been if I had just done something different.

But these are only somedays.

          Most days, I suck it up and try to make the most of what I have right now.  I remind myself everyday that everything happenes the way it does for a reason and even though I may not see its purpose now, I eventually will. 

          No matter how bad I'm feeling, I always try to remember that things could be 100 times worse and that I have so much more to be grateful for than not.

LESSON OF THE DAY 

          You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself once in a while, but don't let that feeling last too long because not only will you start to give in to it, you will also miss out on the things you've been wishing for in the process. 



My Good Karma: Amazing Friends

         They say there is family that you are born with and family that you choose.  Well my chosen family are my friends.  This weekend was full of laughs, revelations, tears of both love and sadness, but most importantly tons of support. 

"IDK my BFF Rose": Yeah she's the twin I never had.  To say she's been a good friend would be the understatement of the year.  She's more like a sister who's been there through it all and help me in more ways than I can even describe.  I only hope I can give her half of what she's given me.  Though we may not talk everyday or see each other often, no matter how much time has passed we always pick up right where we left off.

My Worcester Team:  These are my go-to girls who always come through for me when I need to vent and let my hair down.  There's Shanice the best roomie/ friend I ever had.  Too many good times our Senior year to count and many more to come.  Then there's Yetti my positive motivation/business partner/ fitness inspiration.  I could go on and on but read her blog and you'll see why she's so amazing. Mik, probably the most carefree of them all and always comes through for me (and my little one) when I need her too.  And last but not least, Diva.  My love who gives the most honest and heartfelt advice when I'm down and reminds me so much of myself being sooooo ambitious with all the things she's involved in.

    

 

          I could go on about the many other amazing people in my life but I'll save them for later. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

Surround yourself with amazing people who uplift and make you better.  Their positivity is contagious.

I'm In Love

I'm in love with her smile,
Her chinky brown eyes
And the way her crazy hair falls in all the wrong places.

I'm in love with the way she spoils me,
Her lavish gifts
And how there is nothing she won't do for me.

I'm in love with the certainty she has in herself,
Her sheer determination
And the way she stays strong even through the toughest of times.

I'm in love with her honesty,
Her raw uncensored self
And how she's genuine all the way through.

I'm in love with the possibilities,
The promises I know she will keep
And the heart I know she will never break.

I'm in love with her love,
Because I know it runs deep
Deeper and more truer than any other can compare.

Yes I am in love
And I'm in love with Me.

LESSON OF THE DAY

          Take that love that you've been saving up for the right guy or girl and use it on yourself.  No one can love you better than you.

I Vow to Make the Most out of My Weekends

          And that is exactly what I did.  I hung out with great people, did a little shopping, worked on some awesome stuff (stay tuned!), organized, cleaned and finished off the weekend with a little me time at the movies. 

          What did I see?  Well you may have gotten a hint from the title but I went and saw "The Vow".  Sappy love story it was indeed but it taught me a lot.  For one, when I do decide to get back into a relationship, I WILL NOT drag my boyfriend to see sad chic flicks with me.  There were a few solos in there with me but a lot of poor men were sitting there bored out of their minds while their girlfriends ooohed and awwwed with the rest of us.  Take something your man likes to watch that you can't stand, now imagine being forced to sit through it for 2 hours?  Yeah I didn't think you'd like it either.

          Second thing I learned was to go to an earlier show.  Disclaimer: I'm usually NOT a crier for movies unless an animal dies.  But since "The Notebook", I haven't been as tough when it comes to love stories.  That combined with my already vulnerable state, I became a ball of tears.  As soon as the credits started rolling I beelined to the exit.  Since I went to a 5:30 showing on Sunday, I had to cut through the crowded lobby trying to hide my running nose and bloodshot eyes.  Solution? Next time go to a early matinee so I don't have to do the walk of shame through a crowd.

LESSON OF THE DAY

          And the last thing I learned was from the movie itself.  It was a great reiteration of if its meant to be, it will find its way...on its own.  Don't force it, no matter how bad you want it because it just doesn't work out that way.  I won't spoil the movie for you but this probably made my top list of favorite movies because it was a realistic romance.  Definitely a must see in my book. 

Happy Wednesday People!

21st Century Heartaches

          A breakup is already hard but in the age of social media, its even worse.  I remember my first real breakup.  I was only 17 and at that time Facebook and Twitter wasn't relevant.  I had a little Myspace account that I occasionally used but that was only assessable from my home desktop computer.  Needless to say if you wanted to check up on someone you had to use the phone.

          But the point was that when we broke up that was it.  I didn't have to worry about seeing tagged pictures of him with other females or reading his status updates on what he was doing or who he was with and feeling like everything he said on there was directed at me.  Nope, didn't have to do it. 

          Back then, life was simple and you didn't have to worry about reading into every single post, or lack thereof.  In the age of social networks, there is no such thing as self control when you have access to an ex's social network because in that battle curiosity always wins over self control.  But what I've learned in my sporadic cleaning of my social accounts is that if they can let go of you in real life than you can (and should) let go of them in the online one.

LESSON OF THE DAY

          I'm a firm believer in que sera sera, so its ok to let go because if it was truly meant to be, it will find its way back.  So for your sanity and the sake of moving on, go ahead and cut the umbilical cord that is your social network ties to the person who decided to let you go in real life.  And until you are FULLY at a place where you can be fine being his friend, reading his posts, not taking anything he says personally and not losing your mind if you see a picture of him with someone else, don't friend him.  And on that note I will leave you with a little humor I found of all places...Facebook.

           

Taking It To the Next Level

          Writing is my therapy.  Its what makes me feel good when I'm down, what helps me to collect my thoughts when I'm confused and cleanses my soul so that I don't have such a heavy burden to bear.  One of the best things 2011 yielded was the birth of this blog.  It has allowed me to express myself freely without feeling the need to hide or keep my thoughts and feelings to myself.

          So to honor it, I'm taking it to the next level.  I recently discovered Tumblr where I can crowd my "mini-blog" with all the photos and thoughts that I have and ones from others that ring true to me.  I've always loved taking pictures (even took a class on it during high school) and decided today that I want to add a personal stamp to all my pics.  I'm even thinking about trademarking it. So tons of changes in store for ADailyPieceOfMe and I can't wait to get them up and running. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

Find something you love.  You never know where it will lead you and what doors will open up from it.

Get Up, Get Out, and Get Happy

          Alright seems easy enough right.  Well it is...kind of.  The hardest part is finding the motivation to start the road to happiness and it doesn't happen over night.  As you may know I haven't been in the best of moods, some days worse than others, so this is something I needed to start.

          It all started with getting out of my bed and going to the gym.  This week I spent my fair share of days sulking in my bed watching sappy movies and trying to sleep my life away but Wednesday I forced myself to go to the Y.  I took my Zumba class tried out a great new Hip Hop class and felt a little better.  Yesterday, I was exhausted but I pushed through it and fought the irresistible temptation of my bed and went to my spin class.  Even though the spin instructor was playing every fricken sad love song known to man I fought the urge to get up and walk out.  I felt a little better than I did before I went.  Exercise releases endorphins, and endorphins supposedly make you feel good so I was glad I got up and got my little fix.

  

        Even though I'm no where near where I want to be in terms of my mood, ever since Wednesday, I've been able to deal with the shit going on a little bit better.  So I'm convinced the more I do this over time the better I will feel. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

Get Up, Get Out, and Get Happy*. 

*Disclaimer results may not be instant and may vary.  However the more practiced the better results.  

25 Days of Blessings: Dream Big!

          Hello, Good Morning, and Happy Holidays to all!  Yes I'm in a VERY good mood today.  Why?  Well this morning I discovered I have $200 dollars on a company health care card that I can use to pay my bills and its Thursday!  My last day of work until next Tuesday when I have a 3 day work week.  Saweeet! 

           But in addition to that I'm just in a good mood.  Everything is going well and I have no major complaints.  Did all my Christmas shopping and I must say I'm very proud of the gifts I got for the fam.  I'm so thoughtful ::pats self on back::. 

          In other news, I'm prepping for the New Year.  Every year around this time I go through my things get rid of old stuff I no longer use, throw out the unsalvageable and donate the rest to make room for the new.  So what is the new?  Well I'm in the process of putting together a vision board and discovered that I tend to dream big.  The good thing about it is that I'm fortunate enough to be able to have these aspirations and know that if I put in the right effort I can actually achieve them and for that I'm blessed.  

          What's on my board you may ask?  Well here's some of them!

Goal Weight: 130 Ibs

Au Natural:  Step up my natural product game

Grad School:  Get accepted to all my choices 

My Latest Obsession: Mr. Louboutin

A Motorcycle: Started bike, Kawasaki Ninja 250r Blue (or white)

New(er) Car:  The Nissan Juke

 



LESSON OF THE DAY

Dream big or small, but dream!  Aspirations and goals keep you moving forward.

25 Days of Blessings: Lovin' Me Some Me Time

         Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  So many people overlook this and wonder why they can't find love or happiness.  It all starts with finding it within yourself.  I know, cliche but its the truth.  Now while I'm no master of the art and often times get lonely too, for the most part I enjoy my own presence.  And I'm blessed to be able to be alone and be ok.

          What I've noticed is that there are so many people out there who can't stand being alone.  They get antsy when there is no one around.  While being around other people makes me happy and I would never wish a life of solidarity on anyone, its real important to me to be able to have my own quiet time to just do me.  This past Sunday was pure bliss.  While the Mr. was sleep I went to the living room, lit a fire, warmed up some of my left over chocolate ship cookies, got my journal and curled up under a blanket on the sofa by the fire. 

  

Pure bliss :). 

LESSON OF THE DAY

Remember, sometimes it the simple things in life that bring you the most pleasure.

25 Days of Blessings: I've Got Options!

          How do you like it? My new blog layout that is.  Kinda the same, but a fresh new layout.  I still have a lot of work I want to do with in in terms of the content and tweeking the look of it but I'm even more proud of it than I was before :).  I've gotten tons of inspiration from fellow bloggers and can't wait to expand on it!

          This brings me to my 3rd blessing in my "25 Days of Blessings" series which is that I have options.  Whether its something simple like changing the layout of my blog or moving into a whole new apartment, I have options to pick and choose from if I want to (and boy do I ever). 

          You see, I get bored of things very quickly, hairstyles, cell phones, apartments, but especially home decor.  I haven't been in my new apartment more than 2 months and I'm already ready to give my living room a make-over.  I'll admit it, I may have a problem but nonetheless I'm fortunate enough to able to change little or major things in my life at my leisure which is more than what many people can say. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

          If you have options, you have decisions.  If you have decisions than you have choices.  If you're unhappy with something take those OPTIONS, DECIDE on what you're going to do, and CHOSE to act on them. 

        

25 Days of Blessings: My Special Someone

          So maybe saying I'll post a blessing of mine everyday was a bit too ambitious, so to be more realistic I'll change that to everytime I post in the month of Decemember I will talk about a blessing of mine.  Posting anything everyday is too much when you actualy have a life you want to live and enjoy.

          As for today's blessing I'm grateful for, its my special someone.  Everyone wants to find that special person that they can share any and everything with, someone who gives even more than they take, someon to listen and offer advice (even if you don't want to take it), and someone that gives you that rollercoaster sensation in your stomach even though your feet are planted firmly on the ground.  Well I got all that and more with Mike.  We have our problems too, but I can honestly say that for me the good definately outweigh the bad. 

          Now before you go thinking that I'm so kind of hopeless romantic, I'm not, I'm just a romantic :).  But I'm very much a realist as well.  I don't know what the future holds for us and how long we'll be together (though I hope for a while) all I can do is be happy and grateful for the moments we have now and ride it out for as long as we can.

LESSON OF THE DAY

          Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own plans and ideas for the furture when in a relationship, that you cause more problems than neccessary.  Learn to forget about tomorrow and focus on today, because if you're only focused on the future, you'll miss out on the present which won't lead to the future you planed. 

25 Days of Blessings: The Gift of Giving

          Good Moooooorning Everyone!  The sun is shining, tomorrow's pay day, and today is the first day of December!  Do you know what that means?  It means I can dive full on into the holidays!  I love it, just something about it makes me feel good.  So to honor the 25 days of Christmas, everyday I will be posting a blessing of mine.  Before you jump to conclusions, I'm not an extremely religious person by any means but I do believe in a higher Being and that they have a major effect on the life I have and live. 

          So in the spirit of Christmas, my first blessing is that I'm able to give to the ones I love.  While Black Friday was mainly a day for muah, I had finished most of my Christmas shopping a few weeks prior.  But giving doesn't only mean tangible gifts, it could mean something more.  This past weekend I was able to give my stepmom some time to be alone from my little sister after receiving some bad news, at the same time I was able to take the little one out mini golfing with the Mr. and give her a day out of the house. 

 

LESSON OF THE DAY

          I apologize if my Christmas cheer is too cheesy or corny for you, well actually I'm not.  If you don't like it simply type in another URL and get off my page :).  But in all seriousness, count your blessings.  You never know who is praying they had what you do.



Today's A New Day



View from my Hotel Room

         So finally I'm on my way back home after over a week of being on the move.  I can't say that either trip was amazing but nonetheless a learning experience and after all thats what I'm here for... to learn, but because I don't want to write a novel. I'll save the details for later.

          Last night was truly an eye opener for me which was only solidified with meeting a great energetic woman from my company.  Yesterday night I didn't go to the social hour or dinner for my training in Dallas because I wasn't feeling well. I stayed in my room and played around on the internet. After messing around with my blog and catching up with The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl on YouTube I stumbled onto my favorite hair care girl Naprural85 and discovered she had a blog and another Channel on YouTube.

          After reading more about her and watching her channel it gave me inspiration to "accept the things I can't change and, change the things I can't accept" (quote taken from a background I downloaded to my new iPhone 4S). Her energy and enthusiasm about the things she talks about for some reason resignated  with me and I was so inspired in that moment that I wrote her a brief thank you explaining how I felt.

          It felt good to let someone know how they have impacted you even id it's only in a small way. But that gave me energy to really take the opportunity to get to know todays speaker, a successful woman of color (which is very rare in my industry) out of the Atlanta office in the community service division. She came from a bachelors of arts in communication and landed in marketing for the construction industry and after hearing her enthusiasm about the work she did, I realized that maybe if I ask to switch departments maybe I could still stay at my company, make the money I want, and actually enjoy what I do.

          The realization came after I got an email from my boss saying that I can participate in the annual employee evaluation (originally I wasn't because I was so new to the company). So when I have my review I will ask if there is any space in the business development or marketing office. I'll keep you posted on the status! Excited but EXTREMELY nervous. If it doesn't go well, let just say I always have my initial plan of going to grad school and working in higher Ed.

LESSON OF THE DAY

Don't be afraid to do what you need to, in order to go after what you want.  Afterall it doesn't affect anyone but you.

Good Morning Monday: Remnants from an Inspiring Weekend

          Usually I dread Mondays, but this weekend was filled with inspiration for my personal life, career, blog, and weight loss (even though I slacked) and that inspiration has carried over into today.  I've been super productive since Friday and I feel like it will only continue to last all week long. 

          Friday I started adding completion dates to my ever changing To Do list and have actually been following through with the timelines.  I finished painting and refinishing my cabinets (details to come later this week), cleaned and unpacked nearly everything in my apartment (minus a few decorative items) and think I finally came to a decision on where my boyfriend and I will vacation.  Get ready...

Chicago!

          I know I am mad excited for many reasons.  1: I've never been and I really want to try their famous deep dish pizzas (I know, my inner fat girl will have a field day which is not good for my weight loss but you only live once) 2: I'm dying to get a break from my boring job and 3: this will be my first vacation with the Mr and I can't wait :). 

          Saturday night, one of my mentors from college came down to visit me.  We went out for coffee and I picked her brain about her thoughts about me going to grad school for higher ed.  She told me about her story about how she got to where she is now and needless to say I was inspired and got the reassurance I needed to make the next big step in my life.  Its always refreshing to have support from the people who you value in your life.  But the inspiration for my career change it didn't stop there. 

          Sunday, I went to help out with some admission work for my Alma mater in CT.  It was nice to meet up with the interns and staff I used to work with and even better getting their enthusiasm and support for my decision.  One of the newer staff I worked with over the summer was an Mechanical Engineer Alum from WPI and has been working in higher ed for a number of years and to hear her story on why she switched careers and the few students she worked with that also made the change from engineering to Student Affairs gave me comfort to know that I wasn't alone. 

          But just in general this weekend was good.  I went out with my roommate Saturday night for her friend's birthday and it was fun.  It was cool to meet new people and get out of the house every now and then, but this very thirsty man trying to dance with me all night who wouldn't get the hint did remind me of why I don't go out to clubs that often.  I have a whole theory on that and more which will come later. 

          Until then I will leave you with the...

LESSON OF THE DAY

Get inspired.  It just might be the fuel you need to put your plans and goals in motion.

My Personal Assistant

          Happy Friday People.  For those who know me, know how organized and sometimes anal I can be (for those who don't, well now you know :D).  But there is a method to my madness and extreme organization and I would like to share with you, in hopes that maybe my tips and tricks will help you too get organized.

Tip 1: Get Your Finances in Order
          After all this is the foundation of your life and goals.  For me, all things financial can be found in my "Personal Assistant."  Essentially is is a excel spreadsheet containing my budget, my accounts, and any possible expense you can imagine.  This thing is accurate down to every penny that leaves and enters my pocket.  Explaining it can't full do it justice so here is a snapshot of the main component of it.

          If you want your own Personal Financial Assistant complete with instructions and tips, just click on the link and download the file.

Tip 2:  Find a way to keep track your life with a good calendar and task manager that works for you.
          I used to be a big fan of Outlook when my life ran off of emails in college.  It had my email, all my contacts, and I could put tasks I wanted to get done in it too.  Best thing of all was that it synced to my phone so no matter where I was I could always be up to date with what I needed to get done and where I needed to be going. 

          Now that I email isn't so much apart of my life anymore, Outlook isn't really that effective.  Right now my tool of choice for keeping track of my life is Google.  Now before you read any further Google is not paying me say any of this shit (though I wouldn't mind if they did).  But in all honesty, they don't have to because their services speak for themselves. 

          It's email, calendar, and task tracking sync to my phone and tablet but does way more too.  Google Maps lets me keep track of places I want to go or more important, for me being in a new place, helps me find and remember my favorite chains that are nearby.  But I must say my favorite thing about Google is Google Voice.  Since my stepmom kick me off the family plan after I graduated, I was forced to find my own plan.  However, I lucked out because my company gave me a cell phone.  Now I didn't want to change my number so I transferred my old number to Google and all my calls go to my free work phone.  So not only was I able to keep my number, but I don't have to pay for a plan.  Another cool thing about it, is because its a call forwarding service from Google every text and voicemail I receive is online, so say I forget my phone at home one day, I can still get all my messages (and send them) from online.  And not to mention my Blog is through them too :D.

Tip 3: Find a place to keep your thoughts, goals and everything in between
          While Google (or whatever you may use)is great for keeping your life scheduled and on time, I find it useless for all the other things that run through my mind that I would like to keep track of.  This is why I use Evernote.  The website takes the simple concept of a blank notebook(s) and makes it accessible anywhere there is Internet access (i.e. your phone, tablet, computer...anywhere!).  For the things I can't find space for in Google, like my grocery lists, food logs, goals, recipes, websites, and the random brainstorming fits I have I use Evernote. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

Get organized.  It will help you IMMENSELY.

Halfway to Happiness

          Seems like its been a while since I posted, with actually having some stuff to at work (still not much but its an upgrade from nothing) and with moving, getting sick and trying to make some of my goals a reality, it seems life has started to pick up :). 

          While I am no where near where I want to be, I am a far cry from the dark, depressing place I was just a month ago.  With the new move, I now have money to do the things I want to do and with a new roommate, I have awoken my social life from the dead.  I feel like this move, and being in an amazing state of mind with my boyfriend has given me the boost of enthusiasm I needed to go after the main gaping hole in my life which is keeping me from full achieving my happiness... my career choice. 

          Last week I went to an amazing conference for professionals in Student Affairs.  It was so refreshing 1: being around people who actually enjoyed what they did and 2: actually being excited about what I was learning and could potentially be doing.  I met a few contacts that are already helping me get into grad school and secure an assitantship so I won't have to pay for it.  The only draw back to it all is the pay cut I will have to take, but you can't have it all, all the time.

          It all comes down to a decision that we all have to make, do you do something for the love of it, or for the love of money?  In my case, I'm doing engineering for the love of money; Higher Ed, I will do for the love of it.

LESSON OF THE DAY

          What I am finding out is that you can't have everything you want, right away.  In your career, your relationships, and in your life altogether happiness and true gratification take time.  You can't jump right into a job and expect to love what you do and make the money you dream of making right off the bat.  Most likely in the beginning it will be either or.  In relationships, you can't expect that the other person will be and do everything you wanted automatically.  You have to let them know what you want and expect and learn what they want and expect in return and that takes a lot of time and patience on both ends.  But I believe that if you can bear to wait (I know its hard to do, coming from a person who wants everything now) everything will fall into its place.

My Motivation... Competition

          What's your motivation?  Some find it in the form of support, but me, I find it in the form of competition.  Once that word is mentioned, my game face is on.  What makes it a competition for me is the reward that is at stake.  Whether it is money, bragging rights, or proving the doubters that I can and will win, all get me that motivation I need and want to succeed.  So in my journey to lose the weight I gained from my graduation and birthday celebrations and finally achieve my dream weight of 130Ibs, my main weapon will be competition. 

          I need to surround myself with it, eat, breath, and go to sleep with it only to wake up with it still on my mind.  Motivation, its what I need to achieve my goals, and I will achieve it all through competition.

          I know what you might be thinking, too much competition can turn a person into a compulsive competitor, but when I think of competition its more of a mental game I play with myself.  For example, whenever I see a Beyonce music video I think to myself "I want a body like that" and turns into me trying to prove to myself that I can have what I want.  In my mind I try to out do Beyonce (I know it will never actually happen but its a good mental motivator.  Or when I watch I Used to be Fat  I see that they can do it, so it becomes a competition with myself to prove I can do it just the same. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

          You know the saying "You are your worst critic" well in this case I will say "You are your best competition."  If you can beat yourself then you've won in more ways than one.

Me, myself, and I

          Me, myself, and I. That's who I came in and that's all I'll have when I leave here.  In life, people will come and go but your the only one that is gonna be there for good. Its a pipe dream to think anyone will understand you better than yourself and when you're feeling a certain way you gotta be the one to deal with it because no one else will understand.

           Everyone handles change differently.  Some can see the positive in it more vividly than others. And then there's those who can only focus on how things were in the past instead of making what they have now work for them in achieving their happiness. Me, I fall into the later.  I'm a Taurus, proud, strong, stubborn and unyielding to change.  I like my routine and anything that interrupts that, well lets just say It can take a nice flight to hell and stay there.  Needless to say this new job, state, and living situation have not been an easy transition for me. 

           Some days are better than others but most days are like hell.  When the bad days out number the good, the good days seemed to get overlooked by the bad ones and then its seems like everyday is hell when in reality it isn't.

           It's easy to say happiness is a choice for those who are happy.  For the rest of us, we wish it were that easy.  You might be saying well it is and to you I say you are wrong.  If happiness was as an easy of a choice as you happy people say it is then why are depression and suicide rates so high?  Not saying my unhappiness is that severe but its not as easy as you think.

           Its true, misery does love company, but so does happiness.  So what happens when a happy person and a sad person who are both set in their ways meet? For that I don't have an answer... yet, but when I find out I'll be sure to let you know.  I can imagine it would be the same answer to the question what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force.  And if you know the answer to that please let me know.

LESSON OF THE DAY

           If your in a rut, don't drag anyone one else in it.  There might be that one person who you tell everything to and you feel it would be wrong to be anything but real and honest with them about how you're feeling, but even for them you'll have to put on a smile because as soon as you open up about your rut, if they care about you they'll feel like they need to fix it.  And the reality is that they can't, only you can and if they try it will only strain your relationship to a point you don't want to go.  And if you can't fake the funk while you get your shit together, then maybe you should take a step back for a while until you do. 

Statistics 101

          There are 8,760 hrs in the year.  A typical person works an average of 40 hrs a week which breaks down to a total of about 2,080 hrs a year (a little less than 3 months).  For most of us, we don't live where we work and according to Dateline the average Americans commute to work is roughly about 25 minutes one way (on the conservative side).  That times 2 times a day, 5 times a week for 52 weeks brings you to about 216 hours a year. 

          Now your also suppose to get an average of 8 hrs of sleep per day (in a perfect world) which would mean that you sleep 2,920 hrs a year (which is 4 whole months of just sleep).  That combined with your work and commute schedule comes to a whopping total of 5,216 hrs a year (roughly over 7 months of the year) that you can't even enjoy (unless you have the job of your dreams in which that case I wouldn't call it "work").

          Needless to say you have about 40% of your adult life to actually live and enjoy.  I don't know about you, but I'm going to try and enjoy that 40% as much as I possibly can.  I know every day won't be roses, hell maybe even some weeks will be hard, but my ultimate goal in life is to be able to die and say that I did all I could up until that point to make sure I LIVED, with no regrets and enjoyed it. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

          Time is not your friend.  You really only have 40% of your life to fully enjoy and accomplish everything you want to outside of work and sleep, so do it.

Mellowing Out

         
          Mellow. That's how I'm feeling today.  Not upset about much but nothing really to look forward to either.  In my fit of boredom at work, I've further broken down my expenses to a T.  In other words I can tell you where every single penny of my money is going all the way up to 2013.  I know excessive right? But what else do I have to do to with nothing to keep me busy at work, plus my OCD doesn't help the cause either.

          Update on the Gym.  I haven't yet joined.  To be honest I don't think I am going to know either.  The Gold's Gym I was going to join doesn't really have that much to offer for the price they are asking.   Plus, the apartments I'm looking at mostly all come with some form of workout room.  Until the and in the mean time I will stick to my Insanity, once I get the energy after work to actually do it.  Needless to say I'm feeling a little unmotivated and I gotta fix it. 

          In my efforts to reach my financial goals I have been searching craigslist constantly to find a cheaper apartment.  Don't get me wrong I LOVE the place I'm in, but the benefits of it don't outweigh my desire to save up for things I want.  The money I'm putting into this place is not worth it to me anymore.  Yes I love finding deals and coupon cutting, but let’s face it, I'm the type girl who loves chai lattes, shopping at Whole Foods, has a weakness for shoes, jackets, and the latest technology, and is also addicting to saving and paying things off in full.  There just isn't room enough in my budget to do all of that and have a pricey pad to lay my head down in.  If my friends and family were around enough so that I could host parties and have people over, I wouldn't imagine giving up but they aren't and for that reason it’s not worth it. 

          So after beating my budget down to a pulp, I realize that I'm going to have to stay with my company for at least a year in order to get financially stable before I can take any risks in following my real dreams. 

LESSON OF THE DAY

          Unfortunately you can't always live life like there's no tomorrow because chances are, there will be one.  The sad thing about it is that in the unfortunate event that I died today, I wouldn't be able to say that I've done all I wanted to do up to this point or that I had no regrets in the decisions I've made or that I have lived my life to the fullest.  In order for me to get to that point of complete satisfaction with my life I need to do something’s I don't enjoy doing today so that I have the means to do what I want to do tomorrow.